Since it is Tuesday I went to go visit my lunch buddy. She continues to amaze me with her wit, intelligence and, most of all, her stories. The more she tells me about her family the more I want to a) meet her mom, b) hang out with her little brother and c) tell her older brother to take care of her. First of all, her mom sounds amazing. I have an amazing mom of my own so I can appreciate stories like how her mom doesn’t believe in “beatings” because it is “too hard for her children;” punishments like extended stays inside and doing chores is an alternative to the constant hijinks that seem to go on in their household.
So my sweet little girl told me two stories today that stuck out in my head. First she told me about how she really wanted some candy from her momma’s jar (if you read my previous post, mom put a bell on the jar to ward off such nefarious candy-snatchers) so she took some tissue and stuffed it in the bell so it wouldn’t ring. Genius! I wanted to high-five her but thought better of it as I am supposed to be the mentor and role-model. This adorable tale was then quickly countered with a much darker one.
Her oldest brother, 17 and newly enlisted, came home on a short leave. They threw him a party where my sweetie had to wear a pink dress (gross!) and was forced to dance with her brother who stepped all over her toes. I smiled because I could just picture the two of them, my tomboy cutie and her tall brother dancing sweetly in the living room. She then told me that her brother wanted to go to college instead of being in the Army because he had to kill a little boy. He didn’t want to do that any more, she told me, he wants to be a doctor and help people. What can you possibly say to that? Of course she segued right into how she wouldn’t let him practice on her because he wouldn’t want to sew her back up again; this led into how she had recently watched “Snakes on a Plane” and described in detail the gory scenes that gave her nightmares later that night. So quickly the thought of death passed from her mind yet it hasn’t been able to leave mine.
God give her the strength to continue being so strong and intelligent; give me the ability to come visit with her every Tuesday.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: bad neighborhood, little brother, lunch buddy, Tuesday
I found myself looking forward to today, Tuesday, when I realized that I would now get to spend it with such a cool little girl (my lunch buddy). As I sat in the cafeteria waiting for her class to come down I looked around at the other kids who most likely didn’t have a mentor of their own. Some looked like they might need it more than others and I was surprised when a few kids said “Hi Ms. Molly” to me despite us having never been introduced. I guess when there is a new buddy on the scene word gets out quickly.
As last week my buddy ordered a salad with a pear and we went to go sit in the cafeteria. I had brought a golden delicious apple so she wouldn’t feel so awkward eating in front of me, but she still managed to do most of the talking while her salad greens lay under her fork. Once she got going this girl couldn’t stop talking, it was like a dam being released of its constraining walls. I loved the stories that she told me about her family and especially how she had spent a few yeas (how many I couldn’t determine) living in Mexico before coming back to the States.
My favorite stories were about her younger brother who is four years old. The little boy who wants to be an oval when he grows up, switches the water out with pickle juice in his mom’s usual water jug and plays her Candyland game while she is at school. The brother who she taught how to read and now wants to have reading contests with her. I just can’t help thinking again what an amazing little girl she is and what possibility she holds for the future. She is very aware of her situation “momma says that we live in a bad neighborhood” and told me how her brother’s, sister’s and momma’s allowances all had to be used to buy a retainer for her. Nothing gets by this little girl despite her quiet demeanor. I hope to pass her by one day on the streets and see what an amazing woman she has grown up to be. For now, I am a little sad that they have spring break next week.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: dangerous, lunch buddy, mentor, neighborhood, North Charleston
Today I became an official “Lunch Buddy” at an elementary school in North Charleston. For those who aren’t Charlestonians this is an area that is one of the most dangerous in the country, a place where people like me, sadly enough, don’t go often enough.
I admit, as I crossed the tracks (literally) into this area of town, I felt a bit of trepidation. Sometimes (okay, often) I get myself into things that I should have put a little more thought into, and this felt like it might become one of those times. But as I pulled up to the school I knew that I was meant to be there.
After I was given a brief orientation I was introduced to my little girl whose name I will not state here. I waited for her to grab lunch and went into the library where we started to learn more about each other. She was a quiet girl with a big smile, obviously glad that I was there but so nervous at the same time. If it wasn’t her left leg than it was her right that was bouncing up and down at a furious pace despite the even pace of chatter she maintained.
As a third-grade student in a school that doesn’t always get a good rep, she clearly stood out above the rest despite her diminutive size. She reminded me of me when I was her age. When asked why she had asked for a mentor, she told me that the other kids didn’t really talk to her at lunch, except for her friend who was also sitting in the library with her own mentor. My heart broke right there and I wished that I could be there every day to keep her company.
A bright girl, she told me that she had read books at the eight and tenth grade levels, that she was five books away from getting a prize (out of 25 books) and that she scored at the top of her class in the state exam. “I got a nineteen out of twenty and my teacher said that was pretty good.” Pretty good isn’t enough of an accolade for this girl. As she ate her salad (which she chose over pizza) she talked a little about her family, “I don’t even know how many sister’s I’ve got, but I have four brothers.” She told me how she was not a “girly-girl” and preferred to play basketball even though Momma wanted her to be a cheerleader. ” I hate wearing skirts and dresses, in fact I only have one dress and that is for church.”
Although I could write pages about this girl, this is only our first time out of many that we will have lunch together, so I will keep it brief. It gives me hope that even those children who might live in the worst of neighborhoods can still find love and thrive despite their circumstances. And I would encourage you, emphatically, to find a similar program in your area. There are kids who could benefit from your company, even if it is only an hour a week. Trust me, that look in their eyes when you have to leave says it all.
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