Since it is Tuesday I went to go visit my lunch buddy. She continues to amaze me with her wit, intelligence and, most of all, her stories. The more she tells me about her family the more I want to a) meet her mom, b) hang out with her little brother and c) tell her older brother to take care of her. First of all, her mom sounds amazing. I have an amazing mom of my own so I can appreciate stories like how her mom doesn’t believe in “beatings” because it is “too hard for her children;” punishments like extended stays inside and doing chores is an alternative to the constant hijinks that seem to go on in their household.
So my sweet little girl told me two stories today that stuck out in my head. First she told me about how she really wanted some candy from her momma’s jar (if you read my previous post, mom put a bell on the jar to ward off such nefarious candy-snatchers) so she took some tissue and stuffed it in the bell so it wouldn’t ring. Genius! I wanted to high-five her but thought better of it as I am supposed to be the mentor and role-model. This adorable tale was then quickly countered with a much darker one.
Her oldest brother, 17 and newly enlisted, came home on a short leave. They threw him a party where my sweetie had to wear a pink dress (gross!) and was forced to dance with her brother who stepped all over her toes. I smiled because I could just picture the two of them, my tomboy cutie and her tall brother dancing sweetly in the living room. She then told me that her brother wanted to go to college instead of being in the Army because he had to kill a little boy. He didn’t want to do that any more, she told me, he wants to be a doctor and help people. What can you possibly say to that? Of course she segued right into how she wouldn’t let him practice on her because he wouldn’t want to sew her back up again; this led into how she had recently watched “Snakes on a Plane” and described in detail the gory scenes that gave her nightmares later that night. So quickly the thought of death passed from her mind yet it hasn’t been able to leave mine.
God give her the strength to continue being so strong and intelligent; give me the ability to come visit with her every Tuesday.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: bingo, inspiration, morale, one hour, patience, shelter, volunteer
Sure, there are only 24 hours in the day. On average people spend 7 of them sleeping, 9 of them traveling to, from and everything in between for work, which leaves eight hours that are quickly sucked up by eating, bathing, watching TV, helping the kids with homework, going for a quick jog and so much more. So how could you possibly ask me for a precious hour out of my day?
I know, even though I work from home and get to determine my own schedule sometimes it feels like I simply don’t even have an extra hour to eat or do what I want to do. But what I really need to do is spend that hour doing something that isn’t for myself. It is amazing how just 60 minutes can transform your day and outlook on life.
As mentioned in a previous post a friend of mine works for the largest shelter in our city. When I asked about volunteer opportunities he mentioned playing Bingo with the women and children who are staying there; at first, this didn’t seem like enough. I wanted to get dirty, raise money, help cook dinner or do something that is normally associated with helping out our fellow man. But it seems that sitting down and organizing a game can do much more for the morale than spooning mounds of potatoes onto someone’s plate at dinnertime.
Since I am generally a shy person I was quite nervous to walk in and start this game; in fact, truth be told, I almost canceled at the last moment. I have only played Bingo a few times but never led a game so the “guests” at the shelter helped me get started and after about ten women sat around to play we got the game rolling. There was a young girl about 3 years old who was so shy, just like I am, so I asked her if she wanted to help me spin the metal cage. Boy did she ever! Once she got the hang of it she was on a roll, quite literally. By the end of the hour she was handing them to me two at a time and I could barely read off the numbers before two more were placed delicately into my hands.
Although it was something small, there was something that this little girl did that made an impression on me that I haven’t been able to forget, nor do I want to. When another young girl, about 9 or so, asked to spin the wheel I said “of course” without thinking about my youngest friend. I turned to look at her and saw tears forming in the corners of her eyes, yet she was still so quiet. After a moment I realized why she was crying and asked if she wanted to spin it again on the next round. She nodded yes and patiently waited for her turn.
Now I know, at her age, I might have thrown a fit. As a former preschool teacher I know that other children her age would have screamed, cried, banged their feet and thrown a complete tantrum over something even smaller than that. And here was this girl, so polite, waiting to spin the wheel on her turn. Even to this day I still get upset over things I realize later shouldn’t have bothered me so, and I too could learn much from this little girl. She was my inspiration that day and I look forward to seeing her again in a week or so.
Filed under: Uncategorized
This might be the hardest volunteering I sign up for, helping out at an animal shelter. There is only one shelter in the Charleston area that doesn’t euthanize animals and that is where I will be helping out, at Pethelpers. Even though my own cat is from this shelter I had never been there myself (my cat was a gift) and I just wanted to adopt everything from the moment I walked in. I couldn’t even bring myself to go back in the dog area this first time as I have been having some serious puppy issues (as in, I REALLY want one) and I might have smuggled one out with the low self-control that I have in that area.
As all of the future volunteers sat in the orientation we were told how so many animals had to be turned away from Pethelpers due to limited space, these unfortunate animals are then brought to the other shelters who can only hold them for a short while before they are euthanized. Millions of animals each year are put down for the simple lack of homes available to house them all. Another problem that is quite serious in Charleston is the large feral cat population that breeds endlessly, there is even an organization that traps, fixes and releases these animals so there aren’t hundreds of cats running around without a “furever” home.
Although I respect people who buy animals from breeders I simply cannot do something like that myself knowing how many animals in need there are, not just in Charleston, but around the country. So many beautiful, kind, sweet, loving animals that need a home more desperately than any professional bred dog or cat ever could. In fact many of the strays or owner surrenders that wind up in the shelter were bought from a breeder. If you cannot take an animal into your home please donate some money to this shelter or a similar one near you and save the life of an animal in need.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: ReStore, sales floor, spring cleaning, volunteer
I admit, I am not the cleanest person nor do I truly enjoy cleaning; what I do love to do is organize. Sit me down with a stack of cards and I will alphabetize like someone is giving me a prize afterward. When I went to go help out again at the ReStore I was assigned to this older woman whose job it is to sort out and price nearly everything that comes into the store. Walking into her “office” it was apparent that nobody had been around to help this woman in quite a while. Trinkets, electronics and gadgets lined the walls and floor, some of them collecting dust. Of course, the longer they sat in the office the less money the organization was making, so I readily offered to help her sort through and move items out onto the sales floor.
Two and a half hours flew by, there wasn’t a moment’s pause and by the time I left she was thanking me profusely. There was a smile on her face for the first time since I had walked in that morning and her hacking cough had subsided. I love that I can just walk into the store, be put to work and feel like I am really making a difference. The lamp that I set out onto the table is quickly snatched up and purchased, another handful of dollars is added to the coffer and a door, wall or window can be purchased for a new home. Although it isn’t very exciting and usually a bit dirty, I love volunteering for the ReStore.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: bad neighborhood, little brother, lunch buddy, Tuesday
I found myself looking forward to today, Tuesday, when I realized that I would now get to spend it with such a cool little girl (my lunch buddy). As I sat in the cafeteria waiting for her class to come down I looked around at the other kids who most likely didn’t have a mentor of their own. Some looked like they might need it more than others and I was surprised when a few kids said “Hi Ms. Molly” to me despite us having never been introduced. I guess when there is a new buddy on the scene word gets out quickly.
As last week my buddy ordered a salad with a pear and we went to go sit in the cafeteria. I had brought a golden delicious apple so she wouldn’t feel so awkward eating in front of me, but she still managed to do most of the talking while her salad greens lay under her fork. Once she got going this girl couldn’t stop talking, it was like a dam being released of its constraining walls. I loved the stories that she told me about her family and especially how she had spent a few yeas (how many I couldn’t determine) living in Mexico before coming back to the States.
My favorite stories were about her younger brother who is four years old. The little boy who wants to be an oval when he grows up, switches the water out with pickle juice in his mom’s usual water jug and plays her Candyland game while she is at school. The brother who she taught how to read and now wants to have reading contests with her. I just can’t help thinking again what an amazing little girl she is and what possibility she holds for the future. She is very aware of her situation “momma says that we live in a bad neighborhood” and told me how her brother’s, sister’s and momma’s allowances all had to be used to buy a retainer for her. Nothing gets by this little girl despite her quiet demeanor. I hope to pass her by one day on the streets and see what an amazing woman she has grown up to be. For now, I am a little sad that they have spring break next week.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: donations, half a million dollars, homeless shelter, volunteer
It seems that I have only come to realize how several of my friends work in the nonprofit sector. It is an amazing, often thankless job that it can feel like only they truly understand what it is like to give time to a worthy cause. One friend works for a group that runs the largest homeless shelter in the city. Perhaps one of my favorite parts of first coming to an organization is hearing the list of statistics that the person in charge knows by heart and spouts off effortlessly. Don’t think that it is without passion, however, or they wouldn’t be working there at all.
The numbers today were no less impressive as at other places. Over 2000 people spend time in his shelters a year, while last year they were able to help 420 people find a job and a place to live. These are considered the success cases, the ones that were able to turn their life around and become self-sufficient again. There are so many reasons why people wind up at the shelter but even he admitted that many of them were due to substance abuse and/or mental instabilities.
He showed me around both the men’s shelter and the family center where women and children stay and introduced me to different staff members who were much more upbeat than I thought they might be. I am constantly being shown how wrong my viewpoint of the world can be and I am grateful for it; it would be a terrible thing to live in constant disconnect from the world around you. His initial desire was for me to just spend time with the “guests” at the family center, as he called them, by playing games or just hanging out. But as most people politely declined his offer to start a game, I thought that perhaps they were a bit intimidated by a new face. Many of these women appeared as though they could live down the street from me, particularly a much older woman my mother’s age who was so well-dressed I thought that she must be volunteering as well. She wasn’t.
As I drove home I thought about another statistic my friend had told me. The shelter offers breakfast and dinner everyday to not only shelter inhabitants but anyone else off the streets who might come in. This food comes entirely from individual donations up to chain restaurants and the preparation/serving is all done by volunteers; this entire process saves the organization half a million dollars per year. This is an absolutely astounding figure, one that I couldn’t help but roll around in my head while we walked around the facilities. I wanted to organize a food drive that moment and thought to the street where my mother lives as a possibility. Until I realized, with sadness, that the people there would most likely be of the mindset as to believe that people at the shelter were not worthy of help. It is a sad world we live in when you can watch people spend five dollars on a coffee but will turn their noses up at their fellow human being in need.
Sometimes I think if celebrities didn’t do TV ads for tragic events like Katrina and the Haiti victims, people wouldn’t give their money at all.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: childhood, donation, hospital, sick child, St. Jude's Childrens Hospital
In elementary school I can remember doing a math competition to raise money for St. Jude’s Childrens Hospital. You would find people to sponsor you, most likely your family and family friends, on the day when packets were handed out and everyone would take this “fun” exam. I was so excited that the fact that math was, and still is, my worst subject. Yes, I can still be found counting on my fingers from time to time. Yes, I abused my TI-89 and all of its storage functions. But that minor fact didn’t let the enthusiasm run amok or bring my down when I didn’t win by getting the highest score in my classroom. I don’t remember how I ranked but you can be sure that it was one of the lower ones. Oh well, no harm there.
Recently I have been seeing more ads and commercials from St. Judes asking for donations. It’s not as though there are more sick children who need our help. It is just easier to ask for donations when you can see video image of the youngsters who have to spend their childhood inside the albeit colorful halls of the famous hospital. And those images can be so sad despite a smile on the beleaguered child’s face. Their freshly shaven pate is reminder enough of their sickness.
There isn’t really anything about today that made me think of St. Judes Hospital. But I feel so much better setting up a monthly donation to their organization because I know that there will, unfortunately, always be sick children and I have only to look at the healthy faces of my nieces and nephews to realize how fortunate I and my family has been. To all the children and their families at St. Judes, my thoughts go out to you today.
Unfortunately I won’t be able to tell much about my work with a particular non-profit as it involves working on a new project with them that will be released to the Charleston area in a few months. I am very excited to be a part of this project and can’t wait until it is all finalized and ready for people in the area to use. Who new volunteering could be this exciting?!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: global human condition, microloan, money, Whole Foods, Whole Planet Foundation, Yes
I still consider shopping at Whole Foods a luxury. With about five other grocery stores in the area I can’t really justify spending the extra money, even if I know how delicious everything is at Whole Foods. So when I went there today to grab some water and Italian soda for my honey’s flag football game, I easily said “yes” when the cashier asked me to give a dollar to the Whole Planet Foundation. How could anyone say no to just one dollar? This money goes to support microloans for people who can really use them.
I admit, normally when someone asks me to donate at the store I usually say no. But recently my mindset has been changed by the increased awareness I have of the global human condition. It is so much easier for me to go without a few extra bucks than it is for someone else in the world to find enough money to feed their family. Please say yes the next time you go shopping, someone out there needs that dollar more than you do. And really, isn’t it so much nicer to say yes?
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: dangerous, lunch buddy, mentor, neighborhood, North Charleston
Today I became an official “Lunch Buddy” at an elementary school in North Charleston. For those who aren’t Charlestonians this is an area that is one of the most dangerous in the country, a place where people like me, sadly enough, don’t go often enough.
I admit, as I crossed the tracks (literally) into this area of town, I felt a bit of trepidation. Sometimes (okay, often) I get myself into things that I should have put a little more thought into, and this felt like it might become one of those times. But as I pulled up to the school I knew that I was meant to be there.
After I was given a brief orientation I was introduced to my little girl whose name I will not state here. I waited for her to grab lunch and went into the library where we started to learn more about each other. She was a quiet girl with a big smile, obviously glad that I was there but so nervous at the same time. If it wasn’t her left leg than it was her right that was bouncing up and down at a furious pace despite the even pace of chatter she maintained.
As a third-grade student in a school that doesn’t always get a good rep, she clearly stood out above the rest despite her diminutive size. She reminded me of me when I was her age. When asked why she had asked for a mentor, she told me that the other kids didn’t really talk to her at lunch, except for her friend who was also sitting in the library with her own mentor. My heart broke right there and I wished that I could be there every day to keep her company.
A bright girl, she told me that she had read books at the eight and tenth grade levels, that she was five books away from getting a prize (out of 25 books) and that she scored at the top of her class in the state exam. “I got a nineteen out of twenty and my teacher said that was pretty good.” Pretty good isn’t enough of an accolade for this girl. As she ate her salad (which she chose over pizza) she talked a little about her family, “I don’t even know how many sister’s I’ve got, but I have four brothers.” She told me how she was not a “girly-girl” and preferred to play basketball even though Momma wanted her to be a cheerleader. ” I hate wearing skirts and dresses, in fact I only have one dress and that is for church.”
Although I could write pages about this girl, this is only our first time out of many that we will have lunch together, so I will keep it brief. It gives me hope that even those children who might live in the worst of neighborhoods can still find love and thrive despite their circumstances. And I would encourage you, emphatically, to find a similar program in your area. There are kids who could benefit from your company, even if it is only an hour a week. Trust me, that look in their eyes when you have to leave says it all.
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